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“And what will be there, and what has there been here? Why was I so reluctant to part with life? There was something in this life I did not and do not understand.”

I think this is something a lot of us fear, to go to death leaving something not lived but not knowing what that was. I think William Stoner in “Stoner” felt similar.

But the truth is neither man allowed themselves to live as Natasha lives.